Author: No One
•marți, iunie 08, 2010
If it weren't for law enforcement and physics I'd be unstoppable.

Nu lua viata in serios niciodata ,oricum nu iese nimeni din ea viu ....

When you fall off a mountain you might as well try to fly, you've got nothing to lose...

The Dude: He's got emotional problems, man.
Walter Sobchak: You mean, beyond pacifism?

Plenty of people can talk after getting shot in the head, their conversation just becomes less interesting.........

I found jesus! He was taking a dump in my freezer, so I made him clean it with his tongue.

What ever happened to sex ,drugs and rock and roll? now all we got is aids, crack and techno

WALL... meet HEAD
HEAD... this is WALL

Cocaine is God's way of telling you, you are making too much money.

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

When I was younger I had 2 imaginary friends.. problem was, they'd only play with each other.

I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other, and when I am alone I am together.

Arguing on the internet is a lot like being in the Special Olympics. Even if you win, you're still sort of retarded.

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail... but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn.... that was fun!"

BUFFY: What are you doing here? Five words or less.
SPIKE: Out. For. A. Walk...Bitch.

The world doesn't just disappear when you close your eyes, does it?

Ce poti face azi nu lasa pe maine ci pe poimaine sau raspoimaine,ca poate nu mai este nevoie.

Obiectivul razboiului nu este sa mori pentru tara ta, ci sa-l faci pe ticalosul de inamic sa moara pentru a lui.

If you shoot me in a dream, you better wake up & apologize

Years ago my mother used to say to me, she'd say, "In this world, Elwood, you must be" -- she always called me Elwood -- "In this world, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant." Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. And you may quote me.

There isnt a jury in the world that would convict a baby....well, maybe Texas

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. (Groucho Marx)

Sir, have you been drinking?
*slurring* No uh... *hic* Officer... I uh... am fineeee *drops bottle*
Okay then, off you go...

When the dog food packaging mentions 'New & Improved Flavour', who is the one tasting it to determine this fact?

Keep beating that horse, I think I saw its leg move!!

Momma always said that I could be anything that I wanted to be, go anywhere that I wanted to go, do anything that I wanted to do. That's why I drive a school bus.

"Where am I?" he said, and then added, "This time?"

Hulk like Bruce Jones. Even if he have dumb first name, like puny Banner. Hulk also like new Deodato style. Reminds Hulk of Gary Frank. Not like old Deodato stuff where Hulk drools all the time.

There's little point in writing if you can't annoy somebody.

It's starting to smell a little like danger in here. Or heavily fried food.

Never let it be said that I wasn't willing to do the least I could do

"Can't we all just get along-" "NO! SHUT UP BACK THERE!"

Typical ! 75% of the world is covered with water..and i STILL manage to slam into the side of a mountain !"

Cainele, respecta omul, pisica il escrocheaza, doar porcul il considera egal. (Winston Churchill)

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