Author: No One
•luni, octombrie 11, 2010
I tend to push people away.

In general cand ma simt prost sau oribil, sau nu stiu ce neliniste ma ia, sau ce blocaj ma prinde. Degeaba ma poti intreba ce am ca nu pot zice exact si, intr-un fel, nici nu simt ca vreau sa o fac (ma incapatanez, caci o simt ca un dor care doare, de parca nu stiu ce am pierdut, e melancolie si tacere). E o chestie interna si prefer sa o tin acolo, pentru ca nu stiu ce dezastru pot face daca o scot (in mare pentru ca nu o pot explica cum trebuie). Am tendinta sa o iau aiurea cand cad in starea asta fara cuvinte. Pot ramane blocat intr-un mood pentru o perioada (de la cateva minute pana la zile). Pot fi in and out dintr-un mood (eu ii zic "oscilez"). De multe ori nu am ce sa zic si tac.

I tend to push people away with silence.

PS: mi-as dori sa fiu ceva mult mai mult decat sunt, dar din pacate nu sunt. Uneori nu ma pot obisnui cu asta, cu toata aceasta incalceala umana din mine.

Later Edit: am scris asta intr-un comentariu si il pun si aici pentru ca mi se pare ca ma caracterizeaza: "ideea la mine e ca las timpul sa treaca si nu mai dau semne, fie din cauza mea, fie din cauze din afara mea."

(...)

Ascult obsesiv melodia asta azi. O fac din cauza melodiei in sine, pentru ca nu ma mai pot dezlipi de ea. Nu e vorba de versuri, ci de cum curge melodia pe langa mine.


My Lullaby, hung out to dry
What's up with that? It's over
Where are you dad, Mom's lookin' sad
What's up with that? It's dark in here

Why, bleeding is breathing
You're hiding underneath the smoke in the room
Try, bleeding is believing
I used to

My mouth is dry, forgot how to cry
What's up with that? You're hurting me
I'm running fast, can't hide the past
What's up with that? You're pushing me

Why, bleeding is breathing
You're hiding underneath the smoke in the room
Try, bleeding is believing
I used to
I used to

Why, bleeding is breathing
You're hiding underneath the smoke in the room
Try, bleeding is believing
I saw you crawling on the floor

Why, bleeding is believing
You're hiding underneath the smoke in the room
Try, bleeding is believing
I saw you crawling to the door

Why, bleeding is believing
You're hiding underneath the smoke in the room
Try, bleeding is believing
I saw you falling on the floor


ta hand om dig cititorule

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